transformation. . .

all in a days work.


the old me on the left, the new me on the right!

When I Fell in Love with You

by Dennis Jernigan

When I fell in love with You
I fell hard, what else could I do
You took the old and left me new
Then I fell in love with You

My heart broken, all hope lost
Cold and hard, ravaged, wounded, tossed
Heard Your love song from the cross
And then I fell in love with You

When I fell in love with You
You swept me off my feet
Washed me clean and made me new
In You I was made complete
When I fell in love with You
My heart embraced what You already knew
When I fell in love with You

Sin had bound me through and through
With every failure the darkness grew
Your love fell down with crimson hue
And then I gave my heart to You

You were waiting, Your love true
Me, debating just what to do
My heart was healed when You broke through
And then I fell in love with You

NYC Part 1 (hopefully)

Wow, what an adventure I had during my 24 hrs in NYC.

My plane was actually on time. Thank You Delta!

Upon arrival I noticed that there were several of New York's finest waiting outside. But I thought, hey, September 11 happened here. Maybe this is normal. Not so much. I turned around to notice a man being cuffed just as he came down the stairs off the plane. Now that doesn't leave a girl with a good feeling.

But the days wasn't over. The Lord blessed me by giving me a West African taxi driver. He's been all over West Africa and had lived in Abidjan while attending school. My heart, at home. . .


in Midtown Tunnel, a little nervous about the speed

Once I arrived at the hotel I had another adventure. Let's just say me and the orange club chair in the lobby had some quality time. But, I did have my first celebrity sighting. You know the little annoying guy on the Princess Bride? The one with the lisp? Well, he was staying at my hotel!

Once I was settled in my room I headed out for a little sight-seeing.

First stop, Rockefeller Center.


noting too exciting-I think they are getting ready for Christmas


I forgot I should try not to look as stressed as I actually was.

Then, what else, another celebrity sighting-as I was walking down 49th the crowd drew my attention to a film crew for Sex and the City. Apparently SJP was there, although I couldn't actually see her for the crowd. So I guess it wasn't technically a celebrity sighting.

Next stop, Times Square. I wasn't really sure what to do here with no money to spend. So, I just wandered.





On my way back to the hotel, I saw a really special store. And you'll never believe I didn't go in. :(



Once I was back at the hotel I got to really enjoy my perfectly fabulous room. Oh, and my $34 room service cheeseburger!


if anyone is interested, they actually sell the mattresses and sheets used in the hotel??


this is for Ruthie


me and my Madison Ave view

And then, the excitement of today!


all dressed up with somewhere very important to go


for posterity sake

The trip back was fairly uneventful. A few Venezuelans proclaiming VIVA CHAVEZ! Some turbulence. And the lady next to me really afraid of small planes.

And now, some rest. . .

Being (mostly) Unemployed

During this time in my life that I like to refer to as being "mostly unemployed" (after all there is the hair salon and the temp job at the Nazi prison camp) I've had a lot of ups and downs.

There've been places I liked, but obviously they didn't like me.
There've been places I didn't want to go and should've listened to my gut.
There've been those who've told me I'm "no one special."
And those who have told me my "resume is amazing."
There've been traffic tickets, ice cream treats with friends, lots of prayer, lots of phone calls, lots of emails with job links, and lots of tears.
There've been times where all I can do is worry. And times where all I do is trust.
Lots of things I don't understand.

And then, the moments that take my breath away.

God Grew Tired of Us

If you haven't seen this film yet, put it at the top of your list. It's the story of several of the Lost Boys from Sudan who were chosen to come to America. In this land of opportunity each day was a new struggle for them.



Not too many tears were shed, but a very good story.

Longing for HOME

I was talking to a friend the other night.
Sometimes I'm so aware and ashamed of my sin.
And yet overwhelmed by the totality of Christ's grace.
The only response-a longing for home.

I opened to a friend's blog and read the following:

Weary of earth, myself and sin,
Dear Jesus set me free,
And to Thy glory take me in,
For there I long to be.

Let a poor laborer here below,
When from his toil set free;
To rest and peace eternal go;
For there I long to be.

Burdened, dejected and oppressed,
Ah! Whither shall I flee,
But to Thy arms for peace and rest?
For there I long to be.

Empty, polluted, dark and vain,
Is all this world to me;
May I the better world obtain;
For there I long to be.
-Samuel Medley

How true. (I do love me some hymns.)

And then another reminder as I opened a book I read over a year ago searching for a totally unrelated quote.

There have been times when I think we do not desire heaven; but more often I find myself wondering whether, in our heart of hearts, we have ever desired anything else. . . It is the secret signature of each soul, the incommunicable and unappeasable want, the thing we desired before we met our wives or made or friends or chose our work, and which we shall still desire on our deathbeds, when the mind no longer knows wife or friend or work. . . All your life an unattainable ecstasy has hovered just beyond the grasp of your consciousness. The day is coming when you will wake to find, beyond all hope, that you have attained it.
C.S. Lewis

He Will Not Forsake His Saints

I just had to make a decision about my future. A decision I would normally give myself some time to make, I made in about 30 seconds. I hope I chose the right thing.

That moment led me to the Word. Which is always timely.

Some thoughts from Psalm 37

Trust in the Lord, and do good; dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness. . . Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. . . Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act. . . Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him. . . Better is the little that the righteous has than the abundance of the wicked. . . .The steps of a man are established by the Lord, when he delights in his way; though he fall, he shall not be cast headlong, for the Lord upholds his hand. . . I have been young, and now I am old, yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken or his children begging for bread. . . Turn away from evil and do goo; so shall you dwell forever. For the Lord loves justice; he will not forsake his saints. . . The mouth of the righteous utters wisdom, and his tongue speaks justice. . . The law of his God is in his heart, his steps do not slip. . . Wait for the Lord and keep his way, and he will exalt you to inherit the land. . . The salvation of the righteous is from the Lord; he is their stronghold in the time of trouble, The Lord helps and delivers them; he delivers them from the wicked and saves them, because they take refuge in him.

Make Your Life Count

My pastor showed up on YouTube in a promo video for a camp. It's pretty much a summary of what we are blessed to be a part of each week as the family at Brook Hills.

Hope you enjoy!

Blood Diamonds and Child Soldiers

I just watched The Interpreter and Blood Diamond for the first time. I know. What took me so long?

Normally I have to work myself in to watching anything about Africa. Because I know I'll get too upset.

So, I'm not exactly sure why I decided to watch two movies about genocide in Africa in one night.

I was on the verge of breakdown when Chattie walked across my lap-my living reminder of the part of my heart I left in Africa.

The part that dreams of peace, but knows it will probably always be a dream. The part that longs for a cure for the diseases that ravage it daily, but knows that those cures may never be available to the ones who need it tho most. The part that longs to see her face again, but doesn't know if I will on this side of eternity.

I miss the rains down in Africa. . .

my God, my God

why have you forsaken me?

The last 3 weeks have been a few of the hardest in my life. The Lord is testing me. It's a test I've known before, but this time I'm all alone as I walk through it.

They say "when it rains it pours." Well, whoever they are obviously had a day like the one I had on Tuesday. I started my day with someone I went to for help telling me I'm basically nobody special. And then, I forgot they're taking the highways back. So, I got to spend some quality time with one of Birmingham's finest.

I found myself calling out to the Lord-where are you? Are you really there? Do you even hear me when I call?

"What if I'm trusting in a God who doesn't exist?"

So many times I've questioned certain circumstances
things I could not understand
many times in trials, weakness blurs my vision
then my frustration gets so out of hand
its then I am reminded I've never been forsaken
and I've never had to stand one test alone
as I look at all my victories the spirit rises up in me
and its through the fire my weakness is made strong

He never promised that the cross would not get heavy
and the hill would not be hard to climb
He never offered our victories without fighting
but He said help would always come in time
just remember when your standing in the valley of decision
and the adversary says give in
just hold on, my God will show up
and He will take you through the fire again

I know within myself that I would surely perish
but if I trust the hand of God, He'll shield the flames again, again

*from Through the Fire by the Crabb family

Have you ever known the Lord was speaking and it just made you mad? Yep. That's what happened. I was like Job-If only I knew where to find him; if only I could go to his dwelling! I would state my case before him and fill my mouth with arguments. I would find out what he would answer me, and consider what he would say.

But even within my doubts, I know He's there. I know He's faithful and that He's had a plan since before he knit me in my mother's womb.

My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me, from the words of my groaning? O my God, I cry by day, but you do not answer, and by night, but I find no rest. Yet you are holy, enthroned on the praises of Israel. In you our father trusted; they trusted, and you delivered them. To you they cried and were rescued; in you they trusted and were not put to shame.