and miles to go before I sleep: May 2008

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

You're Not Alone

I dig this song. I think cause no doubt about it, we've all been there. Wondering where the Lord is when the night closes in. Barely able to breathe because the pain is so great. And then the reminder comes, "I'm right here. I'll be here down every road. Through every valley. I've loved you and walked with you all your life. . . and I won't stop now!"

by Meredith Andrews

I search for love, when the night came, and it closed in, I was alone, but you found me, where I was hiding, and now I'll never ever be same, it was the sweetest voice, that called my name sayin

You're not alone, For I am here, let me wipe away your every fear, My love I've never left your side, I have seen you through the darkest night, And I'm the one that who's loved you all your life, All of your life

You cry your self to sleep, cause the hurt is real, and the pain cuts deep, all hope seems lost, with heart ache your closest friend, and everyone else long gone, you've had to face the music on your own, but there is a sweeter song that calls you home, saying

You're not alone, For I am here, let me wipe away your every tear, My love I've never left your side, I have seen you through the darkest nights, And I'm the one who's love you all your life, All your life

Faithful and true... Forever, For my love will carry you...

You're not alone, for I... I am here, let me wipe away every fear... Oh yeah, My love I've never left your side, I have seen you through your darkest night,

Your darkest nights, And I'm the one that's loved you all your life,
All of your life

Saturday, May 24, 2008

Aslan

I went and saw Prince Caspian with Amy on Wednesday. When it was over we both just sat there and tried not to break down in tears. It was such a good picture of our reluctance to trust Him. Especially when we are in the middle of a fight for our life. Our temptation to make a deal with the enemy to fight His very battles. This song keeps coming to mind.
He's not a safe lion. But He's so good. . .

by Kendall Payne

Don't stop your crying on my account
A frightening lion, no doubt
He's not safe, no he's not safe
Are you tempted now to run away?
The King above all Kings is coming down
But He won't say the words you wish that he would
Oh, he don't do the deeds you know that He could
He won't think the thoughts you think He should
But He is good, He is good
I know you're thirsty, the water is free
But I should warn you, it costs everything
Well, He's not fair, no He's not fair
When He fixes what's beyond repair
And graces everyone that don't deserve
No one knows Him whom eyes never seen
No, I don't know Him but He knows me
He knows me, He knows me
Lay down your layers, shed off your skin
But without His incision, you can't enter in
He cuts deep, yeah He cuts deep
When the risk is great and the talk is cheap
But never leaves a wounded one behind

Thursday, May 22, 2008

feels like a broken heart

I had one of those days where I got motivated to go through boxes filled with really old stuff.

I found something. . . memories. The good and the bad.

Specifically stuff from before I went to Africa. Like pictures from my commissioning, May 2002. It's been down here ever since. It's weird to look at pictures of myself then and put myself in that girls shoes. So excited about what was to come. With no idea of the hurt that can come from being in ministry. No idea that she'd leave home thinking she'd be a missionary forever and return with no idea if she'd ever go back. And 4 years later, still the hurt is there. . .

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

I'm the girl. . .

who fixes everyone's problems
who'll never really be American again
who's afraid you wouldn't love her if you knew
who loves to ask questions
who irons everything
who'd rather be called "cute" than "sexy"
who has an opinion, about everything
who's thankful everyday for her "friend family"
who loves her freckles
who has no value or beauty, apart from Christ
who's losing herself in finding Him

Disaster Fatigue

I read an article tonight that Disaster Fatigue is causing people to limit their giving in response to the recent events in China and Myanmar.

"It's too much pain, too much tragedy for someone to process, and so we tend to pull ourselves away from it and either close off from it out of psychological defense, or it overwhelms us," says Cynthia Edwards, a professor of psychology at Meredith College in Raleigh, N.C.

I can't help but wander, do I have "Lostness Fatigue." Have I pulled myself away because the task seems overwhelming and I don't directly feel the impact?
What about you?