Words

I'm going to try and put into words what I've been learning.
I guess to make it easy I'll start with our retreat this past weekend.
First, we learned the true meaning of love and hate. (Love=to choose and Hate=to reject.) So that we could see ourselves as we truly are. I remember sitting in my prayer group and the ladies talking about how they were having such a hard time with the concept that they HATE God. And it hit me-I don't have a hard time with that at all. I can look at my life over the past few months and that's really what I see more than anything else.
Then we talked about idols and asked ourselves a lot of questions to help us find the idols in our lives. It was really eye opening. There are things that I never would have realized I counted as an idol in my life until I was asked the question, "What do you fear most?". What a scary question. The answer of my heart shocked me.
Ask yourself and see what you come up with.
So, the last several days I've been dealing with all that was revealed to me this weekend.
And last night Amy and I were talking about different things that have been going on. And I just started crying. All this stuff is a result of our insecurities. And our insecurities are a result of the fact that we aren't filled with Him. And He's way more than enough to fill us. We just don't allow Him to.
That's only the beginning of all the stuff going through my mind right now as the Lord draws me back to Himself and revives me.

"Come, let us return to the LORD;
for he has torn us, that he may heal us;
he has struck us down, and he will bind us up.
After two days he will revive us;
on the third day he will raise us up,
that we may live before him.
Let us know; let us press on to know the LORD;
his going out is sure as the dawn;
he will come to us as the showers,
as the spring rains that water the earth."
Hosea 6.1-3