Longing for HOME

I was talking to a friend the other night.
Sometimes I'm so aware and ashamed of my sin.
And yet overwhelmed by the totality of Christ's grace.
The only response-a longing for home.

I opened to a friend's blog and read the following:

Weary of earth, myself and sin,
Dear Jesus set me free,
And to Thy glory take me in,
For there I long to be.

Let a poor laborer here below,
When from his toil set free;
To rest and peace eternal go;
For there I long to be.

Burdened, dejected and oppressed,
Ah! Whither shall I flee,
But to Thy arms for peace and rest?
For there I long to be.

Empty, polluted, dark and vain,
Is all this world to me;
May I the better world obtain;
For there I long to be.
-Samuel Medley

How true. (I do love me some hymns.)

And then another reminder as I opened a book I read over a year ago searching for a totally unrelated quote.

There have been times when I think we do not desire heaven; but more often I find myself wondering whether, in our heart of hearts, we have ever desired anything else. . . It is the secret signature of each soul, the incommunicable and unappeasable want, the thing we desired before we met our wives or made or friends or chose our work, and which we shall still desire on our deathbeds, when the mind no longer knows wife or friend or work. . . All your life an unattainable ecstasy has hovered just beyond the grasp of your consciousness. The day is coming when you will wake to find, beyond all hope, that you have attained it.
C.S. Lewis

He Will Not Forsake His Saints

I just had to make a decision about my future. A decision I would normally give myself some time to make, I made in about 30 seconds. I hope I chose the right thing.

That moment led me to the Word. Which is always timely.

Some thoughts from Psalm 37

Trust in the Lord, and do good; dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness. . . Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. . . Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act. . . Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him. . . Better is the little that the righteous has than the abundance of the wicked. . . .The steps of a man are established by the Lord, when he delights in his way; though he fall, he shall not be cast headlong, for the Lord upholds his hand. . . I have been young, and now I am old, yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken or his children begging for bread. . . Turn away from evil and do goo; so shall you dwell forever. For the Lord loves justice; he will not forsake his saints. . . The mouth of the righteous utters wisdom, and his tongue speaks justice. . . The law of his God is in his heart, his steps do not slip. . . Wait for the Lord and keep his way, and he will exalt you to inherit the land. . . The salvation of the righteous is from the Lord; he is their stronghold in the time of trouble, The Lord helps and delivers them; he delivers them from the wicked and saves them, because they take refuge in him.

Make Your Life Count

My pastor showed up on YouTube in a promo video for a camp. It's pretty much a summary of what we are blessed to be a part of each week as the family at Brook Hills.

Hope you enjoy!

Blood Diamonds and Child Soldiers

I just watched The Interpreter and Blood Diamond for the first time. I know. What took me so long?

Normally I have to work myself in to watching anything about Africa. Because I know I'll get too upset.

So, I'm not exactly sure why I decided to watch two movies about genocide in Africa in one night.

I was on the verge of breakdown when Chattie walked across my lap-my living reminder of the part of my heart I left in Africa.

The part that dreams of peace, but knows it will probably always be a dream. The part that longs for a cure for the diseases that ravage it daily, but knows that those cures may never be available to the ones who need it tho most. The part that longs to see her face again, but doesn't know if I will on this side of eternity.

I miss the rains down in Africa. . .

my God, my God

why have you forsaken me?

The last 3 weeks have been a few of the hardest in my life. The Lord is testing me. It's a test I've known before, but this time I'm all alone as I walk through it.

They say "when it rains it pours." Well, whoever they are obviously had a day like the one I had on Tuesday. I started my day with someone I went to for help telling me I'm basically nobody special. And then, I forgot they're taking the highways back. So, I got to spend some quality time with one of Birmingham's finest.

I found myself calling out to the Lord-where are you? Are you really there? Do you even hear me when I call?

"What if I'm trusting in a God who doesn't exist?"

So many times I've questioned certain circumstances
things I could not understand
many times in trials, weakness blurs my vision
then my frustration gets so out of hand
its then I am reminded I've never been forsaken
and I've never had to stand one test alone
as I look at all my victories the spirit rises up in me
and its through the fire my weakness is made strong

He never promised that the cross would not get heavy
and the hill would not be hard to climb
He never offered our victories without fighting
but He said help would always come in time
just remember when your standing in the valley of decision
and the adversary says give in
just hold on, my God will show up
and He will take you through the fire again

I know within myself that I would surely perish
but if I trust the hand of God, He'll shield the flames again, again

*from Through the Fire by the Crabb family

Have you ever known the Lord was speaking and it just made you mad? Yep. That's what happened. I was like Job-If only I knew where to find him; if only I could go to his dwelling! I would state my case before him and fill my mouth with arguments. I would find out what he would answer me, and consider what he would say.

But even within my doubts, I know He's there. I know He's faithful and that He's had a plan since before he knit me in my mother's womb.

My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me, from the words of my groaning? O my God, I cry by day, but you do not answer, and by night, but I find no rest. Yet you are holy, enthroned on the praises of Israel. In you our father trusted; they trusted, and you delivered them. To you they cried and were rescued; in you they trusted and were not put to shame.

the name of the Lord

May the Lord answer you in the day of trouble!
May the name of the God of Jacob project you!
May he send you help from the sanctuary and give you support from Zion!
May he remember all your offerings and regard with favor your burnt sacrifices!

Selah

May he grant you your heart's desire and fulfill all your plans!
May we shout for joy over your salvation, and in the name of our God set up our banners!
May the Lord fulfill all your petitions!
Now I know that the Lord saves his anointed; he will answer him from his holy heaven with the saving might of his right hand.
Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the Lord our God.
They collapse and fall, but we rise and stand upright.
O Lord, save the king! May he answer us when we call.

Psalm 20:1-9

the more that I promised

Thanks to Natalie, here are a few more photos from the festivities:

Bachelorette Party-


dinner at Cobb Lane


afterwards with random dude at Twist and Shout

Rehearsal-


bridesmaids at the rehearsal

The big day-


Crystal, checkin' herself out in the mirror


we love you Crystal


Gangsta style