my God, my God

why have you forsaken me?

The last 3 weeks have been a few of the hardest in my life. The Lord is testing me. It's a test I've known before, but this time I'm all alone as I walk through it.

They say "when it rains it pours." Well, whoever they are obviously had a day like the one I had on Tuesday. I started my day with someone I went to for help telling me I'm basically nobody special. And then, I forgot they're taking the highways back. So, I got to spend some quality time with one of Birmingham's finest.

I found myself calling out to the Lord-where are you? Are you really there? Do you even hear me when I call?

"What if I'm trusting in a God who doesn't exist?"

So many times I've questioned certain circumstances
things I could not understand
many times in trials, weakness blurs my vision
then my frustration gets so out of hand
its then I am reminded I've never been forsaken
and I've never had to stand one test alone
as I look at all my victories the spirit rises up in me
and its through the fire my weakness is made strong

He never promised that the cross would not get heavy
and the hill would not be hard to climb
He never offered our victories without fighting
but He said help would always come in time
just remember when your standing in the valley of decision
and the adversary says give in
just hold on, my God will show up
and He will take you through the fire again

I know within myself that I would surely perish
but if I trust the hand of God, He'll shield the flames again, again

*from Through the Fire by the Crabb family

Have you ever known the Lord was speaking and it just made you mad? Yep. That's what happened. I was like Job-If only I knew where to find him; if only I could go to his dwelling! I would state my case before him and fill my mouth with arguments. I would find out what he would answer me, and consider what he would say.

But even within my doubts, I know He's there. I know He's faithful and that He's had a plan since before he knit me in my mother's womb.

My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me, from the words of my groaning? O my God, I cry by day, but you do not answer, and by night, but I find no rest. Yet you are holy, enthroned on the praises of Israel. In you our father trusted; they trusted, and you delivered them. To you they cried and were rescued; in you they trusted and were not put to shame.