Sitting

I've found myself sitting a lot lately. Not sitting and reading. Not sitting and watching a movie. Not sitting and working on a project. Not even sitting and thinking. Just sitting. The world is spinning very fast around me. My packing is slowly winding down. I mainly have papers and clothes to pack now.But my mind is racing. There are so many other things to be done. Goodbyes to be said. Things to try and not forget. Here are some thoughts I had recently:"I'm sitting here in Abidjan just a few days away from going home, and trying to process these last two years. They have without a doubt been the best two years of my life, but also the hardest in more ways than I can count. I've learned more about the world and suffering, about myself and who my God is than I learned in all the 24 years before. I will never forget how real Christ has been to me, how desperate I have been for Him, and pray I will never forget how much the nations need Him.Unbelievably it is time for me to start preparing to go home. How can it be that in so few days I will be on a flight to America? How can it be that these people I have come to love (Ivoirians and Americans) will soon fade from view? How can it bee that I am about to reenter a world and culture that I miss, but no longer feel I know as my own? How can it be I feel as though only a few days have passed since I set out on an "adventure" I didn't know if I could survive? How can it be that in the midst of this dark land I can see and hear Him clearly?With all these questions running through my head I guess it is only normal to ask-Where am I going? What will I do when I get there?"

Roasting Marshmallows

So I finally gave in and decided that there is no way I will get all my packing done on my own. So last night I got Steph to help. Actually she did most of the packing and just kinda directed me on what we should do next--which was great considering I don't feel like I can think clearly about anything right now. So most of that is done which is a huge blessing.Then as she was walking out to leave we noticed there was a huge bonfire blazing down the street. We talked about going down and roasting marshmallows or hotdogs, and how crazy they would think we are. Of course, what is crazier than them starting a huge fire in the middle of the street?

Lots to do for the next few days and the Young Patriots are supposed to march tomorrow in support of the President-so we will be home all day.

Finding the Problem

So I decided to head to the Dr Monday morning to find out exactly what it is that has been making my stomach go crazy. I spent most of the morning waiting-waiting for a Dr, waiting for a test, waiting for someone to show me where to go, but by the time it was all over the Dr had decided that I have intestinal malaria. Never heard of it? Neither had I, or anyone else here. But after a little research online, I discovered that it actually does exist. He gave me several medicines to take which I have been taking for several days now and still don't feel any better. But I went back this morning to get my test results and he gave me several more things that should clear up the problem. We'll see, I'm not feeling very positive at this point.The packing has started, but hasn't gotten too far. I just keep staring at it wondering how I am going to get all that in those suitcases!

Feeling Relieved

Last night I had a chance to sit down with the youth leaders from Marcory and discuss the study that I wrote.

Taofik, Georgette, Simeon, and Anicet
I started by telling them my testimony because I really felt strongly that they should know that I am not just some white girl from America who is coming to tell them how to live, but that these are the things the Father has taught me. They were very interested and had so many questions. One of the things that I felt was very important was the idea of an accountability partner. But that idea is something that is not part of their culture so we spent a lot of time talking about what that means. I think they are very excited and really think this is going to make a difference in the lives of the youth here. They are already talking about how they can continue this type of study once the 10 weeks are over. I am of course sad that I won't be here to see it get started, but I have the assurance that He will accomplish His purpose.I feel like a huge weight is off my shoulders now that I have officially put this in the hands of the Ivoirians. Praise Him for allowing me that blessing before I leave!

And They Opened Up

Yesterday was not at all a fun day. I woke up early very sick. My stomach had decided to empty itself totally of its contents. So it was a long day. But, the morning wasn't so bad cause the sky decided to empty itself too. I got to enjoy the rain falling on my tin roof. Tanou came by a little after lunch time. I didn't get to spend much time with her since I could barely get out of bed. But we did get to talk for about an hour. She seems to be doing well and is enjoying her job teaching Liberian refugees about Gender-based violence.My house is all ready to actually start packing now, if I can get back to even 50%. Sometimes I think of the 14 days I have left and it feels like forever, and some moments I'm like "Oh, no! How will I ever get all this done?" Dad has really been speaking to me alot these last few days. As I draw to the end of my time, I find myself wondering exactly why He brought me here. Most of the time it doesn't seem that I have made a difference. But HE is continually reminding me about the people He has put in my path that may not have had a chance to see the Son if not for me. What a faithful Father I serve!

I Want to Tell You a Story-Tommy's Story

Tommy was a Liberian refugee who had come to Abidjan 20 or more years before. Tommy was a Christian and had been trained as a plumber. He spent most of his time working for the Baptist Mission or in our Baptist churches. He had many friends among Ivoirians, Liberians, and Americans. One day Tommy came to one of our offices looking for help. He had been sick for a long time and had been to the doctor over and over and given all kinds of medicines. But he wasn?t getting better and could no longer work. He needed money for more prescriptions. The people in our office told him they would not help him until he got and HIV test to find out what was really wrong. But when the results came back positive, they didn?t know how to help him. So they called me.At that time, I was working in an AIDS counseling clinic so I thought that would at least be a good place to start since they have a doctor and a pharmacy there. Tommy agreed to meet me, so I took him, the girl who was caring for him full time, and another missionary. That day when I met Tommy he was so frail I thought he would break, he had terrible hiccups, and sores on his skin. At the clinic they asked a lot of questions and talked with him about his faith. He was able to see a doctor and get some medicine to stop the hiccups and itching. But he wasn?t sleeping at night and his stomach was running. After a couple of weeks of continuing to get worse, we decided it would be best to put him in an AIDS hospital. At first they had no beds, which basically meant we had to wait for someone else to die.While at the hospital they continually gave him blood transfusions to help him keep his strength. I was able to visit him only one time. It was a very clean room, not at all what I had expected, but had 8 or 10 beds that were filled with men who were dying of AIDS. The man next to him was apparently always doing things that made Tommy laugh (his mind was already gone) like crawling into other people?s beds and taking Tommy?s shoes. The night before, he had taken Tommy?s shoes, so Tommy borrowed someone else?s when he got up to use the bathroom and had slipped and fallen.One of Tommy?s friends, who visited him often, told use there was good news. Tommy was only in the first stages of AIDS. But when the other missionary talked to the Director of the clinic she said that she had never said that and that Tommy was actually in the last stages of AIDS. (Unfortunately it is cultural to lie about difficult things.) Tommy died a few weeks later and was never even given a proper funeral.I had an opportunity to talk with him before he moved to the hospital. He told me that he was laying awake at night trying to figure out how he had contracted HIV. Unfortunately there is no way we could ever know. But Tommy died at peace with his faith in Christ.Sadly, Tommy?s story is the story of over 30 million people in Africa alone. Many are put in clinics or hospitals and left there to die with no visitors and no hope.I am blessed to have known Tommy, even for a short time and to have his story become part of mine.

One Roach Later

So, finally started packing last night. Or getting ready to pack. Have some great pictures of the mess I made, but couldn't get them to load. I mainly only made progress on getting rid of stuff that I don't want to take home, but it's progress. Everything has to be dusted--and by everything I mean everything--clothes, shoes, souvenirs, posters, etc.While I was busy "packing" I noticed Chattie was jumping around acting crazy. I went to see what it was, and she was chasing a roach. It was a rare african photo op. And I actually got a pictures, but once again I couldn't get it to load so I will try later. Taking the night off from packing, but gotta start again tomorrow. What a nightmare!

Pacque

Easter Sunday! I can't believe it is my last one in Africa and quite uneventful. I admit I did go to the 7 am service to avoid being there until this afternoon. Planned on taking some pictures so everyone could see what it's like here, atleast in Abidjan. But everything was so normal--looking back it probably wouldn't be normal for anyone else. Got to rest alot today. And then we had a dinner for all the IBWA people here in Abidjan. Lots of food. Still havn't started packing. I keep telling myself, and other people, "oh, I will start tonight". And I never do. I always find something else to fill my time with. I know I have to get on the ball. I am not a last minute packer and will freak out if I don't have it done atleast a week before I leave, which gives me 2 weeks to get it all done. And right now my house is a totally disaster with everything out of the drawers and off the walls waiting to be put in a suitcase. I'm totally stressed and starting to get a little sad. It gets harder everyday.

The Last Days

Well, now that I am down to 19 days, seems kinda funny, but I've decided to start writing down my thoughts. So much is going through my mind. Will I recognize my friends and family, some of you have made some big changes? Will I even remember how to get to my house? Will I still like all the foods I have been missing all this time? What kind of deodorant do I use in America (I didn't say all these thoughts were important)? Will I ever feel like an American again? How long will it be before I don't wake up every morning wishing I were in Africa? Where will I work next? Will I ever make it to DC? Is it possible for anyone to ever understand where I have been? Will I ever forget all that I have learned these past 2 years (I hope not)? I hope that by writing down my thoughts over the next few weeks and months, I can help myself and all of you understand what has, is, and will happen to me. Hopefully I can process and really begin to prepare for the change-right now I am definitely in some sort of denial. But leaving Abidjan behind is inevitable. It's just too hard to comprehend right now.