Wednesday, December 19, 2007

A Few of my Favorite Things

Since I should be packing, but procrastinating sounds like a better idea. . .
I thought I'd post some of my favorite things in life.


Redken Guts-the best root lifter around

Hanae Mori, by Hanae More-a little hard to find
but totally my favorite


MAC eyeshadow in Sketch-perfect for blue eyes
use it as shadow or liner


Covergirl Lashblast Mascara-my new favorite
it really does work if you need volume



Kavu Bi-coastal bag-perfect for everyday and travel!



Bumble and Bumble Gentle and Super Rich
the best for dry winter hair


GAP Peacetrain
the lavendar is so relaxing


Vaseline Cocoa Butter Extra Care Cream
for seriously dry skin


Tuesday, December 18, 2007

A Hero's words

My Pa.
He's my hero.
But we don't agree on everything.

When I saw him on Friday, he mentioned he doesn't think Hugo Chavez is really any different/worse than George Bush.

My response:
Really, you know people who've been killed because they don't like George Bush?

He decided we didn't need to talk politics anymore. Probably a good choice.

Friday, December 07, 2007

Could I Trust Him?

If He wasn't completely sovereign, could I trust Him?

If He wasn't in control,
of every detail.
If He didn't have a plan
for today
and for tomorrow.
If He was surprised
by life's joys
or pains,
would He be worthy
of my worship,
my praise,
my trust,
my hope.
My all.

Thoughts in response to Marcy's post.

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Virginia is for Lovers

Time is winding down as I prepare to move out of my apartment. Once Saturday is here I'll be staying with a friend for two or three weeks (time to be determined by a very important phone call on Wednesday). And then, I'll make my 12 hr trip to Newport News, Virginia. I'm excited! But it's all really surreal.
My storage space is rented. And almost everything is packed. I'm eating off of paper plates and definitely not buying any more food.
And more than a little worried about fitting all my clothes in my little hatchback.

My thoughts turn to things I'll miss about Birmingham:
Vulcan, who looks out over Birmingham just a few blocks from my apartment
Always knowing where I'm going because I've basically never lived anywhere else
Jim n' Nicks, the best barbecue around
Watching people try to maneuver the round-about at Patton Creek
Being just two hours from A-U-B-U-R-N and sunsets on The Plains
The Church at Brook Hills, no explanation needed
SoHo in Homewood, the home of Tria Market, Salsarita's, and SoHo Sweets :)
Knowing how to pronounce all the names and teaching new people the proper way (it's not the CLUB, it's THE club)

And obviously, more family and friends than I can mention.

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

I'm on a roll tonight

and all because I went looking for information on what was going on in King David's life when he wrote Psalm 37.

The fact that this was written when I was 3 and the Lord has been really speaking to me about this exact thing-and these exact verses-over 25 years later is too cool!

World Hunger and Us

By John Piper November 1, 1981


I would like to talk about hunger. It may be that God is allowing physical hunger to ravage our globe in order to awaken his church to the worldwide (and local) ravages of spiritual starvation. Our hearts break more quickly when we see a skin-draped skeleton in its mother's arms than when we hear a missionary say: millions have never heard the gospel and are bound for hell in the wickedness of their worldliness or idolatry. Of course our heads tell us that it is much worse to be happy in this life and in torment for eternity than to be miserable only in this life. But visible earthly misery reaches our hearts more directly. Perhaps God is touching us this way in order that we might feel the horror of spiritual starvation when our heads declare: Do you weep over the suffering of these bodies now?—How much more, then, should you weep over the suffering of soul and body in eternity!

Hunger in the World Today

So I want to talk about hunger in our world, then relate it to biblical teaching, then to evangelism, and then make some practical suggestions as to what we should do.

Let's begin with a multiple choice quiz:

1) Of the 60 million deaths recorded each year, about what percentage are due to hunger or to problems related to hunger?

a) 10% b) 30% c) 50% d) 70%

2) The United Nations reports that, by the most conservative estimates, more than ___ million people are permanently hungry?

a) 10 b) 50 c) 230 d) 460 (almost 1/2 billion)

3) Currently what proportion of the world's preschool children suffers malnutrition sufficient to permanently damage their physical and mental growth?

a) 1/4 b) 1/3 c) 1/2 d) 2/3

According to Patricia Harris, former secretary of the department of Health and Human Services, "If all of America's 25 million poor people lived in one state, it would be the nation's largest. If they were a separate nation, their total population would exceed that of more than half the nations of the world." But what is called poor in this country is often vastly better than the destitute of the third world. Hunger is mostly a threat to the southern hemisphere, namely, Africa, Asia, and Latin America. Here is where the horrendous statistics come rolling in: one person in four has an inadequate diet; one in ten suffers severe malnutrition; one third of the world's children die of malnutrition and disease before their fifth birthday; each year 100,000 children go blind due to lack of vitamin A in their diets. Whatever the reasons for the food shortages (high birth rate, poor weather conditions, rising cost of oil, cash cropping, war and marauding) one thing is sure: the children who suffer most are not to blame, and so even the most calculating recompenser of merit and demerit should be moved to pity and action. All the more should Christians, whose lives are owing entirely to mercy.

The most critical area in the world right now is the sub-Saharan nations of Africa where crop failures, merciless bands of marauders, and terrible refugee masses are creating unbelievable suffering. The death rate among children in sub-Saharan Africa is more than 20 times as high as the United States. In one specific country, Uganda, the good news of Idi Amin's departure has been followed by equally devastating crisis: famine. Last week Festo Kivengere wrote:

At least 800,000 of my countrymen are literally starving to death right now. Within weeks 100,000 to 150,000 more could be dead. At least 250 people are dying each day!

How can I adequately describe to you the horrors my people face?

*An 84-year-old tribesman stands patiently in line waiting for a precious handful of cornmeal. He is only three people from the head of the line when famine strikes its final blow—he collapses and dies. His skeletal body is dragged a few yards away. And the long line shuffles forward.

*A gaunt young mother holds a tiny bundle of skin and bones to her withered breast . . . but there is nothing there. Soon—perhaps tomorrow—her child will be dead, and she will have only bitter memories of unbearable suffering.

*A missionary steps out of his home to find the hunger ravaged corpses of small children at his doorstep—left there in the dark of night by distraught parents.

*At a feeding station, a fine trail of white flour drifts to the ground from a punctured bag. The children who can still move their arms and legs scoop the flour up with dirt and swallow it before the wind can blow it away.

*A gaunt and withered man is shot in the head for his 12-cent bowl of maize porridge.

*In town after town, village after village, local trash collectors pick up the shriveled little bodies of dead children by the ankles and carry them out to their garbage trucks.

And the horror goes on!

The Biblical Summons to Help the Poor

These stories could be duplicated over and over, especially now that there are 9.5 million refugees in the world huddled often in packed camps with little food and sanitation and hope (e.g., refugees in Somalia from Ethiopia, and in Honduras from El Salvador, and in Thailand from Laos). The reason this has now become a pressing personal ethical problem for us is that we now know about it, channels exist to help, and we have more than we need. Let's see what the Scriptures confront us with?

Luke 3:11, "He who has two coats, let him share with him who has none; and he who has food let him do likewise."

Psalm 41:1, "Blessed is he who considers the poor!"

Proverbs 14:31, "He who oppresses a poor man insults his maker, but he who is kind to the needy honors him."

Proverbs 21:13, "'He who closes his ear to the cry of the poor will himself cry out and not be heard."

Proverbs 28:27, "He who gives to the poor will not want, but he who hides his eyes will get many a curse."

Isaiah 58:10, "If you pour yourself out for the hungry and satisfy the desire of the afflicted, then shall your light rise in the darkness and your gloom be as the noonday. And the Lord will guide you continually, and satisfy your desire with good things, and make your bones strong; and you shall be like a watered garden, like a spring of water whose waters fail not."

This is but the tip of the iceberg (see Cry Justice by Ronald Sider). God's will for us is that we give and work as much as we can to alleviate suffering in Jesus' name. This relates to evangelism (bringing people to the obedience of faith) in four ways. 1) It is included in the Great Commission, which says we should teach the nations to do all Jesus commanded. And Jesus commanded us to give to the needy (Luke 12:33) and to do good even to those who hate us (Luke 6:27). So the Great Commission is not complete until the people we evangelize are giving generously to alleviate hunger. And we can be sure they never will if we aren't. 2) Active concern for the hungry and homeless validates the reality of God in our lives. Men will glorify our Father in heaven not because of what we say only, but because our lights are shining and they have seen our good deeds (Matthew 5:16). 3) Concern for the hungry helps us feel the spiritual lostness of men. For if our hearts break for their temporal physical suffering, will not our theology drive us to see the inconsistency of not being broken-hearted because of their spiritual hopelessness. 4) Concern for the hungry creates witness opportunities. If Christian ethics means for us primarily avoiding bad behavior and staying home in our comfortable houses, we will meet very few non-Christians, and when we do, our words of witness will be weak because they are backed up with no labor of love. But if our love of Christ and his for us drives us into action to meet the needs of refugees and the world's hungry, then we will cross paths with unbelievers and our witness will have great power because it will be certified by active love. So never play off evangelism against other biblically mandated acts of love, namely, feeding the poor and doing good to all (Galatians 6:10).

What Can We Do?

Now let's be specific. What can we do? 1) Set aside some time to educate yourself about the problem and the many things Christians are doing to help. You could start with a book like Rich Christians in an Age of Hunger by Ronald Sider. Then you might want to join Bread for the World, "a Christian Citizen's Movement in the USA," and get their newsletter and learn how to respond politically. U.S. Representative Paul Simon said, "Someone who sits down and writes a letter about hunger . . . almost literally has to be saving a life." There are many things to be learned. For example:

*Enough grain is produced now to supply everyone on earth with more than two pounds of grain per day.

*The average American consumes 2,000 pounds of grain a year, mostly indirectly through meat products. On the other side of the world, the average Colombian eats 400 pounds of grain a year, mostly through grain itself. Compare this to an average steer in a feed lot, which eats 400 pounds of grain in one month. Our cattle are better fed than most of the people in the world.

*80% of all the grain produced in North America is fed to animals.

*Americans throw away enough food in a year to feed over 50,000,000 people.

*25% of the food products in North America is thrown away.

*One restaurant in New York City kept track of a portion of leftover food on people's plates for 12 months; in one year, they threw away 2½ tons of meat!

2) Besides education we can change some of our own eating habits, or at least think about them. If we Americans substituted chicken for 1/3 of our own beef consumption and the cattle-people responded appropriately, this could provide enough grain to feed 100,000,000 people for a year. One of the best ways to stay thin and healthy and maintain empathy with the world's needy is to make a practice of eating one helping and never eating between meals. We should think hard about how often we eat out since you can usually eat for several days on what you pay for one meal at a restaurant.

3) We should engage in regular prayer and fasting. If fasting was ever in order, it is today. Prayer is enlivened and deepened by fasting. Fasting unites us to God in the dependence of hunger, and it unites us to Uganda in the fellowship of hunger. And so our love and our prayers are more fervent and effectual.

4) Some of you should go. There is a book entitled, Overseas List: Opportunities for Living and Working in Developing Countries, by David Beckmann and Elizabeth Anne Donnelly. Any inclination you have, young or old, to cut loose and fly into an adventure with God should be pursued. There are opportunities for all kinds of professions as well as the traditional missionary. The need is for people passionately eager to magnify Christ through sacrificial loving service.

5) We need to give. So to encourage us in this we are having a Rice Bowl Reception after the service. November is World Hunger Month in our Conference and in the Baptist World Alliance. Rice bowls have been provided to be used like this: Each person or family should take one home and put it on your table to remind you each day and every meal to pray for the starving of the world (physically and spiritually). At each meal if you put about 15 cents in it, the bowls would have $10 each by the last Sunday in November, when we collect them and send the money through our Conference to World Relief. If 100 families or individuals do this, we can send $1,000 which we will scarcely miss. Maybe some of us will want to keep such a little bank on the table as long as hunger remains. It is so easy to grow callous, and weary of well-doing.

I urge you all to come down and pick up a bowl and enjoy fellowship. There is no food at all. So this is a test. Can we stand around and enjoy each other without cookies and coffee? I think we can because there is a promise that should cause our hearts to overflow: "If you pour out yourself for the hungry and satisfy the desire of the afflicted, then shall your light rise in the darkness and your gloom be as the noonday. And the Lord will guide you continually, and satisfy your desire with good things, and make your bones strong; and you shall be like a watered garden, like a spring of water whose waters fail not" (Isaiah 58:10–11).

Remember Why You Sold Everything

I "stumbled across" this tonight as I was doing some research. I thought it was timely considering what I've been learning lately in Worship on Sundays.

an excerpt from a Desiring God monthly newsletter:


Keeping the Treasure in View during the Long Wait

November 2007

One of Jesus’ most powerful parables is also one of his shortest:

The kingdom of heaven is like a treasure hidden in a field, which a man found and covered up. Then in his joy he goes and sells all that he has and buys that field.” (Matthew 13:44)

Fifteen minutes before this man’s discovery in the field, the thought of selling all that he owned to buy it probably wouldn’t have crossed his mind. If it had, it would have seemed foolish, even excruciating. But fifteen minutes afterward he was off to do it with joy. What made the difference?

The treasure. This man suddenly found something that transformed his whole outlook on life. It restructured his priorities. It altered his goals. His values changed. The treasure revolutionized the man.

Now, there was a cost to obtaining the treasure. Viewing it one way, it was a high cost. Imagine being his neighbor. You would have been bewildered as you watched him liquidate his assets. You might have questioned him. You might have warned him of the dangers of imperiling his family. You might have talked to other neighbors, wondering if the man was going bonkers. You would have been puzzled at his joy.

But viewing it another way, the cost was very small. The man was shrewd. Standing there in the field he did a quick cost-benefit analysis. It didn’t take much time to realize that selling all his possessions was going to make him wealthy beyond his wildest dreams. What he did might have appeared foolish at first. But in reality the benefits so far outweighed the costs that he would have been foolish not to sell everything.

What this parable doesn’t tell us is how difficult it was for the man between the time he sold everything and the time he had full, complete access to and experience of the treasure. It doesn’t describe the moments he wondered if the treasure had been an illusion, the fears that might lose it, the temptation to buy back what he had sold, the hardship of not knowing if he could make ends meet while he waited.

As Christians, that’s where we are living right now—in the treasure-is-already-ours-but-we-don’t-have-it-in-full-yet world. Much of the rest of the New Testament was written to fill in this gap for us, and teach us how to keep the treasure in view during the long wait.

Paul is a great example of how to do this. Sitting in prison writing to his dear friends in Philippi, he was reflecting on the treasure’s cost when he wrote, “whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ” (Philippians 3:7).

And what a cost. He had sold all that Saul the Pharisee once valued: an admired vocation, a stellar reputation, influential friends, his home. He lost any dreams he may have had for a wife and children. He lost financial security—all earthly security for that matter. Now in prison he had lost his freedom. And he knew the loss of his life for Christ’s sake was only a matter of time.

Imagine a friend from Paul’s old Pharisee days visiting him in prison after all those years. What might he say? “Saul, what have you done? You abandoned a promising life to buy the precious treasure that your rabbi taught about, and what do you have to show for it? A scarred back, a broken body, poverty, constant danger, constant stress, and now prison. Oh, and a few small groups of adherents to your creed sprinkled here and there who, like lambs among wolves, will be wiped out when you’re no longer around to guard them. Some treasure, Saul.”

I imagine Paul responding, “Some treasure, indeed. In fact, ‘I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish in order that I may gain Christ.’” (Philippians 3:7-8).

Having lost all things, what had Paul gained? Jesus Christ. Paul’s treasure wasn’t his possessions, achievements, or legacy. His gain was the forgiveness of all of his sins through Jesus’ substitutionary, atoning death on the cross. And through that he had also gained Jesus’ perfect righteousness, which meant that Paul now had continual access to the Father for any request and enjoyed the Father’s pleasure resting on him—the pleasure that the Father has in his Son. And Paul was now an heir to all that Jesus was inheriting from the Father. He had gained the promise that God would work all things together for good for Paul and that none of his labors, as feeble as they might appear, would be in vain. He gained the promise of the resurrection from the dead, eternal life without any indwelling sin. And, above all, he gained the promise of the perfect fellowship with the triune God, the Heart of Paul’s own heart whatever befall, the High King of Heaven, his Treasure.

Some treasure, indeed. But not everyone has eyes to see the treasure for what it is. And even those of us who do need to be reminded and encouraged frequently.

Yes, the treasure is real. But there is a cost to obtaining the treasure. We must be realistic about it. It will cost us everything. But if we’ve really discovered the treasure, the most realistic conclusion is that we would be foolish not to go and in our joy sell all that we have to get it.

Your fellow Treasure-seeker,

Jon Bloom
Executive Director

My God is Mighty to Save

I'm still riding the emotional roller coaster that seems the only consistency in the last 4 months. Today was no exception. Up, down, up, down. Wake up the next day and do it again. Thanks to trusty iTunes, I've spent hours and hours of my free time listening to sermons and music. And only the Lord knows how much I needed this sweet time I've had with Jesus.

One song stands out as the song that will always bring me rushing back to this incredibly difficult season.

Mighty to Save
by Hillsong Australia

Everyone needs compassion
A love that's never failing
Let mercy fall on me
Everyone needs forgiveness
A kindness of a Savior
The hope of nations

My Savior
He can move the mountains
My God is Mighty to save
He is Mighty to save
Forever
Author of salvation
He rose and conquered the grave
Jesus conquered the grave

So take me as You find me
All my fears and failures
Fill my life again
I give my life to follow
Everything I believe in
Now I surrender

Shine your light and let the whole world see
We're singing for the glory of the risen King...Jesus

My feeble heart so easily forgets that my Daddy really is MIGHTY TO SAVE!

The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing."
Zephaniah 3.17

Monday, November 12, 2007

Yours

by Steven Curtis Chapman

I walk the streets of London
And notice in the faces passing by
Somthing that makes me stop and listen
My heart grows heavy with the cry

Where is the hope for London?
You whisper and my heart begins to soar
As I'm reminded
That every street in London in Yours
Oh, yes it is

I walk the dirt roads of Uganda
I see the scars that war has left behind
Hope like the sun is fading
They're waiting for a cure no one can find

And I hear children's voices singing
Of a God who heals and rescues and restores
And I'm reminded
That every child in Africa is Yours

And its all Yours, God, Yours, God
Everything is Yours
From the stars in the sky
To the depths of the ocean floor
And its all Yours, God, Yours, God
Everything is Yours
You're the Maker and Keeper, Father and Ruler of everything
It's all Yours

And I walk the sidewalks of Nashville
Like Singapore, Manila and Shanghai
I rush by the beggar's hand and the wealthy man
And everywhere I look I realize

That just like the streets of London
For every man and woman, boy and girl
All of creation
This is our Father's world

And its all Yours, God, Yours, God
Everything is Yours
From the stars in the sky
To the depths of the ocean floor
And its all Yours, God, Yours, God
Everything is Yours
You're the Maker and Keeper, Father and Ruler of everything

It's all Yours, God
It's all Yours, God
It's all Yours, God
It's all Yours, God

The glory is Yours, God
All the honor is Yours, God
The power is Yours, God
The glory is Yours, God

You're the King of Kings
And Lord of Lords

And its all Yours, God, Yours, God
Everything is Yours
From the stars in the sky
To the depths of the ocean floor
And its all Yours, God, Yours, God
Everything is Yours
All the greatness and power, the glory and splendor and majesty
Everything is Yours
Yeah, it's all Yours
We are Yours
The glory and honor is Yours, everything is Yours

It's all Yours, God
My life is Yours, my heart is Yours
My hands and my feet are Yours
Every song that I sing
It's all Yours, all is Yours
All belongs to You
Our gifts are Yours, God
All our dreams are Yours, God
All our plans are Yours, God
The whole earth is Yours, God
Everything is Yours

Sunday, November 11, 2007

Oh yeah. . .

The Lord reminded me of something. Something He told me a long time ago.

Is not this the fast that I choose; to loose the bonds of wickedness, to undo the straps of the yoke, to let the oppressed go free, and to break every yoke.

Is it not to share your bread with the hungry and bring the homeless poor into your house; when you see the naked, to cover him, and not to hide yourself from your won flesh?

Then shall your light break forth like the dawn, and your healing shall spring up speedily; your righteousness shall go before you; the glory of the Lord shall be your rear guard.

Then you shall call, and the Lord will answer; you shall cry, and he will say, "Here I am." If you take away the yoke from your midst, the pointing of the finger, and speaking wickedness,

if you pour yourself out for the hungry and satisfy the desire of the afflicted, then shall your light rise in the darkness and your gloom be as the noonday.

And the Lord will guide you continually and satisfy your desire in scorched places and make your bones strong; and you shall be like a watered garden, like a spring of water, whose waters do not fail.

Isaiah 58. 6-11

Monday, October 29, 2007

Come to Jesus!

Untitled Hymn by Chris Rice

Weak and wounded sinner
Lost and left to die
O, raise your head, for love is passing by
Come to Jesus
Come to Jesus
Come to Jesus and live!

Now your burden's lifted
And carried far away
And precious blood has washed away the stain, so
Sing to Jesus
Sing to Jesus
Sing to Jesus and live!

And like a newborn baby
Don't be afraid to crawl
And remember when you walk
Sometimes we fall...so
Fall on Jesus
Fall on Jesus
Fall on Jesus and live!

Sometimes the way is lonely
And steep and filled with pain
So if your sky is dark and pours the rain, then
Cry to Jesus
Cry to Jesus
Cry to Jesus and live!

O, and when the love spills over
And music fills the night
And when you can't contain your joy inside, then
Dance for Jesus
Dance for Jesus
Dance for Jesus and live!

And with your final heartbeat
Kiss the world goodbye
Then go in peace, and laugh on Glory's side, and
Fly to Jesus
Fly to Jesus
Fly to Jesus and live!

Saturday, October 27, 2007

The Question Now

To find God's will for the rest of your life is to do God's will for the next 15 minutes.
-Adrian Rodgers

and Oswald Chambers said "Trust God, and do the next thing."

These last three months (yep, 3 months today) I've had so much to learn. So much learning to trust the Father when I can't see Him. And soo much prayer. Often asking the Lord what His will is for my life. But it really hasn't been something I can put into words clearly.

But you know how sometimes someone says something and you go "that's it, that's what I've been trying to put into words. That brings it all full circle" Well. . . that happened this week when I heard a sermon.

A few things that really stuck out to me:

God desires for me to follow His will so much that He lives in me to accomplish it.
My whole identity changed when Christ came into my life-my will is now lost in His. I have sacrificed the right to determine what is best for my life. (And with a Father who's so faithful I'm not sure why this thought scares us so much?)
New Testament Believers aren't seen trying to determine God's will after the Holy Spirit arrived. (No burning bush, no voice in the wind.)
He has the power to tell me exactly what to do, but maybe He's using the journey to teach me to trust the Christ in me.
Finding His will is secondary to what I've learned along the way.
When we are united with Him we have His desires and we are free to trust our passions. Trust Christ in me and then do what I know to do.
The Christian life is not trying to figure out what God's will is and then going to do it for Him. The Christian life is about trusting Christ to live for me.

The question now: "God what is your will for human history and how can I align myself w/ your will?"

The goal: to be so much in contact with God that I no longer need to ask His will. . . I am His will (Oswald Chambers)

Saturday, October 06, 2007

Two Weeks in Africa

Caedmon's Call

Johannesburg to Capetown
The plane had barely touched down
She was taking photos for the friends back home
This was always where she felt her heart belonged
And she was finally here
The sky was bright and clear

Two weeks....
And we all can feel the calling
Two weeks...
To make the world a little smaller
And so a girl got on a plane
For two weeks in Africa

Johannesburg to Houston
She came home on a mountain
But school was starting, things kept moving on
Before you knew it, seven years had gone
She found a picture of her
Standing, smiling
Arms around the starving kids
She swore to not forget
She swore to not forget

And if we follow our dear sun
To where the stars are not familiar…

Faces turn to numbers
Numbers fall like manna from the sky
Why, oh why?
Oh Father, why?

One village in Malawi now has water running pure and clean
One church alive in Kenya’s full of truth and love and medicine
We put the walls up, but Jesus keeps them standing
He doesn’t need us, but He lets us put our hands in
So we can see
His love is bigger than you and me

Friday, October 05, 2007

transformation. . .

all in a days work.


the old me on the left, the new me on the right!

Tuesday, October 02, 2007

When I Fell in Love with You

by Dennis Jernigan


When I fell in love with You
I fell hard, what else could I do
You took the old and left me new
Then I fell in love with You

My heart broken, all hope lost
Cold and hard, ravaged, wounded, tossed
Heard Your love song from the cross
And then I fell in love with You

When I fell in love with You
You swept me off my feet
Washed me clean and made me new
In You I was made complete
When I fell in love with You
My heart embraced what You already knew
When I fell in love with You

Sin had bound me through and through
With every failure the darkness grew
Your love fell down with crimson hue
And then I gave my heart to You

You were waiting, Your love true
Me, debating just what to do
My heart was healed when You broke through
And then I fell in love with You

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

NYC Part 1 (hopefully)

Wow, what an adventure I had during my 24 hrs in NYC.

My plane was actually on time. Thank You Delta!

Upon arrival I noticed that there were several of New York's finest waiting outside. But I thought, hey, September 11 happened here. Maybe this is normal. Not so much. I turned around to notice a man being cuffed just as he came down the stairs off the plane. Now that doesn't leave a girl with a good feeling.

But the days wasn't over. The Lord blessed me by giving me a West African taxi driver. He's been all over West Africa and had lived in Abidjan while attending school. My heart, at home. . .


in Midtown Tunnel, a little nervous about the speed

Once I arrived at the hotel I had another adventure. Let's just say me and the orange club chair in the lobby had some quality time. But, I did have my first celebrity sighting. You know the little annoying guy on the Princess Bride? The one with the lisp? Well, he was staying at my hotel!

Once I was settled in my room I headed out for a little sight-seeing.

First stop, Rockefeller Center.


noting too exciting-I think they are getting ready for Christmas


I forgot I should try not to look as stressed as I actually was.

Then, what else, another celebrity sighting-as I was walking down 49th the crowd drew my attention to a film crew for Sex and the City. Apparently SJP was there, although I couldn't actually see her for the crowd. So I guess it wasn't technically a celebrity sighting.

Next stop, Times Square. I wasn't really sure what to do here with no money to spend. So, I just wandered.





On my way back to the hotel, I saw a really special store. And you'll never believe I didn't go in. :(



Once I was back at the hotel I got to really enjoy my perfectly fabulous room. Oh, and my $34 room service cheeseburger!


if anyone is interested, they actually sell the mattresses and sheets used in the hotel??


this is for Ruthie


me and my Madison Ave view

And then, the excitement of today!


all dressed up with somewhere very important to go


for posterity sake

The trip back was fairly uneventful. A few Venezuelans proclaiming VIVA CHAVEZ! Some turbulence. And the lady next to me really afraid of small planes.

And now, some rest. . .

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Being (mostly) Unemployed

During this time in my life that I like to refer to as being "mostly unemployed" (after all there is the hair salon and the temp job at the Nazi prison camp) I've had a lot of ups and downs.

There've been places I liked, but obviously they didn't like me.
There've been places I didn't want to go and should've listened to my gut.
There've been those who've told me I'm "no one special."
And those who have told me my "resume is amazing."
There've been traffic tickets, ice cream treats with friends, lots of prayer, lots of phone calls, lots of emails with job links, and lots of tears.
There've been times where all I can do is worry. And times where all I do is trust.
Lots of things I don't understand.

And then, the moments that take my breath away.

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

God Grew Tired of Us

If you haven't seen this film yet, put it at the top of your list. It's the story of several of the Lost Boys from Sudan who were chosen to come to America. In this land of opportunity each day was a new struggle for them.



Not too many tears were shed, but a very good story.

Thursday, August 30, 2007

Longing for HOME

I was talking to a friend the other night.
Sometimes I'm so aware and ashamed of my sin.
And yet overwhelmed by the totality of Christ's grace.
The only response-a longing for home.

I opened to a friend's blog and read the following:

Weary of earth, myself and sin,
Dear Jesus set me free,
And to Thy glory take me in,
For there I long to be.

Let a poor laborer here below,
When from his toil set free;
To rest and peace eternal go;
For there I long to be.

Burdened, dejected and oppressed,
Ah! Whither shall I flee,
But to Thy arms for peace and rest?
For there I long to be.

Empty, polluted, dark and vain,
Is all this world to me;
May I the better world obtain;
For there I long to be.

-Samuel Medley

How true. (I do love me some hymns.)

And then another reminder as I opened a book I read over a year ago searching for a totally unrelated quote.

There have been times when I think we do not desire heaven; but more often I find myself wondering whether, in our heart of hearts, we have ever desired anything else. . . It is the secret signature of each soul, the incommunicable and unappeasable want, the thing we desired before we met our wives or made or friends or chose our work, and which we shall still desire on our deathbeds, when the mind no longer knows wife or friend or work. . . All your life an unattainable ecstasy has hovered just beyond the grasp of your consciousness. The day is coming when you will wake to find, beyond all hope, that you have attained it.

C.S. Lewis

Friday, August 24, 2007

He Will Not Forsake His Saints

I just had to make a decision about my future. A decision I would normally give myself some time to make, I made in about 30 seconds. I hope I chose the right thing.

That moment led me to the Word. Which is always timely.

Some thoughts from Psalm 37

Trust in the Lord, and do good; dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness. . . Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. . . Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act. . . Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him. . . Better is the little that the righteous has than the abundance of the wicked. . . .The steps of a man are established by the Lord, when he delights in his way; though he fall, he shall not be cast headlong, for the Lord upholds his hand. . . I have been young, and now I am old, yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken or his children begging for bread. . . Turn away from evil and do goo; so shall you dwell forever. For the Lord loves justice; he will not forsake his saints. . . The mouth of the righteous utters wisdom, and his tongue speaks justice. . . The law of his God is in his heart, his steps do not slip. . . Wait for the Lord and keep his way, and he will exalt you to inherit the land. . . The salvation of the righteous is from the Lord; he is their stronghold in the time of trouble, The Lord helps and delivers them; he delivers them from the wicked and saves them, because they take refuge in him.

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Make Your Life Count

My pastor showed up on YouTube in a promo video for a camp. It's pretty much a summary of what we are blessed to be a part of each week as the family at Brook Hills.

Hope you enjoy!

Sunday, August 19, 2007

Blood Diamonds and Child Soldiers

I just watched The Interpreter and Blood Diamond for the first time. I know. What took me so long?

Normally I have to work myself in to watching anything about Africa. Because I know I'll get too upset.

So, I'm not exactly sure why I decided to watch two movies about genocide in Africa in one night.

I was on the verge of breakdown when Chattie walked across my lap-my living reminder of the part of my heart I left in Africa.

The part that dreams of peace, but knows it will probably always be a dream. The part that longs for a cure for the diseases that ravage it daily, but knows that those cures may never be available to the ones who need it tho most. The part that longs to see her face again, but doesn't know if I will on this side of eternity.

I miss the rains down in Africa. . .

Friday, August 17, 2007

my God, my God

why have you forsaken me?

The last 3 weeks have been a few of the hardest in my life. The Lord is testing me. It's a test I've known before, but this time I'm all alone as I walk through it.

They say "when it rains it pours." Well, whoever they are obviously had a day like the one I had on Tuesday. I started my day with someone I went to for help telling me I'm basically nobody special. And then, I forgot they're taking the highways back. So, I got to spend some quality time with one of Birmingham's finest.

I found myself calling out to the Lord-where are you? Are you really there? Do you even hear me when I call?

"What if I'm trusting in a God who doesn't exist?"

So many times I've questioned certain circumstances
things I could not understand
many times in trials, weakness blurs my vision
then my frustration gets so out of hand
its then I am reminded I've never been forsaken
and I've never had to stand one test alone
as I look at all my victories the spirit rises up in me
and its through the fire my weakness is made strong

He never promised that the cross would not get heavy
and the hill would not be hard to climb
He never offered our victories without fighting
but He said help would always come in time
just remember when your standing in the valley of decision
and the adversary says give in
just hold on, my God will show up
and He will take you through the fire again

I know within myself that I would surely perish
but if I trust the hand of God, He'll shield the flames again, again

*from Through the Fire by the Crabb family

Have you ever known the Lord was speaking and it just made you mad? Yep. That's what happened. I was like Job-
If only I knew where to find him; if only I could go to his dwelling! I would state my case before him and fill my mouth with arguments. I would find out what he would answer me, and consider what he would say.

But even within my doubts, I know He's there. I know He's faithful and that He's had a plan since before he knit me in my mother's womb.

My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me, from the words of my groaning? O my God, I cry by day, but you do not answer, and by night, but I find no rest. Yet you are holy, enthroned on the praises of Israel. In you our father trusted; they trusted, and you delivered them. To you they cried and were rescued; in you they trusted and were not put to shame.

Wednesday, August 08, 2007

the name of the Lord

May the Lord answer you in the day of trouble!
May the name of the God of Jacob project you!
May he send you help from the sanctuary and give you support from Zion!
May he remember all your offerings and regard with favor your burnt sacrifices!

Selah

May he grant you your heart's desire and fulfill all your plans!
May we shout for joy over your salvation, and in the name of our God set up our banners!
May the Lord fulfill all your petitions!
Now I know that the Lord saves his anointed; he will answer him from his holy heaven with the saving might of his right hand.
Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the Lord our God.
They collapse and fall, but we rise and stand upright.
O Lord, save the king! May he answer us when we call.

Psalm 20:1-9

Saturday, August 04, 2007

the more that I promised

Thanks to Natalie, here are a few more photos from the festivities:

Bachelorette Party-


dinner at Cobb Lane


afterwards with random dude at Twist and Shout

Rehearsal-


bridesmaids at the rehearsal

The big day-


Crystal, checkin' herself out in the mirror


we love you Crystal


Gangsta style

Tuesday, July 31, 2007

the Holy Spirit and trusting the Father

I'm learning how to trust the Lord, again.

The Lord shut a door in my life on Friday. A door that I've wanted to close for a while, but that I was afraid to close myself.

Last Sunday I went to the altar and begged the Lord to do "something." And in less than a week He did. It wasn't the way I thought it would look, but it's closed.

Yesterday we learned about the Holy Spirit's role in prayer. And there's something my pastor repeated several times.
If you ask for a fish, He won't give you a scorpion.

Monday, July 23, 2007

The first of many. . .

Yesterday was an amazing day. Crystal looked beautiful, of course. Lots of family and friends. Fun times had by all. But, a little sad too since they will be going straight to Virginia from the airport. Lots of tears, but such a blessing to see them together. Hasn't quite sunk in that she's married!

Here's the first of many pictures to come I'm sure. . .


Crystal and I right before the ceremony started, I think?

Monday, July 16, 2007

Girls Night Out!

Crystal's Bachelorette Party was Saturday night.

We had a nice meal at Cobb Lane. Follow up by Edgar's chocolate cake. . . what else? And then on to Twist and Shout-a dueling piano bar here in Birmingham.

Of course there was something to embarrass her, and lots of laughs along the way.


Crystal and I at Twist and Shout


Crystal with Brooke and Krisha, two of her bridesmaids


me and Brooke

Monday, July 02, 2007

Mercy Is Yours

I heard a song yesterday in church, and the lyrics are still on my heart, such a picture of grace. I can't find the full set of lyrics, but I do remember the chorus, so here it is. . .

Not guilty anymore
by Aaron Keyes

You're not guilty anymore.
You're not filthy anymore.
I love you. Mercy is yours.

You're not broken anymore.
You're not captive anymore.
I love you. Mercy is yours.

Monday, June 04, 2007

May 2007

Lots happens in May of every year. My birthday, then my mom's birthday, then my cousin's wife Holly's birthday, and then Mother's Day. But this year it didn't end there. . . we had a lingerie shower for my sister as well.

Just a few shots of the last month:


Brooke and I at Mudtown for my birthday


Elise, Holly, my mom, and I for our birthdays (not sure why my mom never managed to look at the camera?)


me, my sister, and my mom at Crystal's shower-one of many to come

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

like a city without walls

So, I've been studying through some stuff about anger with a friend. As I was reading through the scriptures I came across this:

Like a city that is broken into and without walls is a man who has no control over his spirit.
Proverbs 25.28

Now, in our day and age that really doesn't mean to much. I don't know any cities around that have walls and that seems perfectly normal. But then the Lord brought something to mind that really made this stand out.

The words of Nehemiah the son of Hacaliah. Now it happened in the month Chislev, in the twentieth year, while I was in Susa, the capitol, that Hanani, on of my brothers, and some men from Judah came; and I asked them concerning the Jews who had escaped and had survived the captivity, and about Jerusalem. They said to me, "The remnant there in the province who survived the captivity are in great distress and reproach, and the wall of Jerusalem is broken down and its gates are burned with fire." When I heard these words, I sat down and wept and mourned for days; and I was fasting and praying before the God of heaven.
Nehemiah 1. 1-4

That made it mean A LOT more. First of all, the disgrace that came to the Name of the Lord because the city of His people was without walls. (Later we see Nehemiah in Jerusalem and working to rebuild the walls. Meanwhile, those who surround them are mocking them.) Then, Nehemiah was so upset about the situation in Jerusalem that he fasted and prayed for days before going to the King to get permission to leave and help repair the walls.

All that to say, wow, I never realized what kind of impact it has when I don't control my spirit.

Friday, April 27, 2007

An Epitaph

written by Karen Watson (missionary murdered in Iraq)

When God calls there are no regrets. I wasn't called to a place; I was called to Him. To obey was my objective, to suffer was expected, His glory my reward, His glory my reward . . .

The missionary heart:
Cares more than some think is wise
Risks more that some think is safe
Dreams more than some think is practical
Expects more than some think is possible.

I was called not to comfort or to success but to obedience. . . .

Monday, April 16, 2007

Exciting April

So far this month has been a busy one. Starting with Easter. . .


Me and my cousin, Elise. How stinkin' cute is she??

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Still Learning

again, from Humility: the forgotten virtue

We need to understand that we were God's enemies prior to salvation. We did not seek Him or love Him. Even our best deeds were filthy rags in His sight, polluted by sin. How foolish it is for us to become proud of ourselves when, apart from Christ, there is nothing good in us. It would be like a small child bragging about the mess he had just made in his diaper. As disgusting as that is, taking pride in what we are or have done is even more disgusting because, without Christ, we would be an abomination to the Lord.

. . . the only thing we can claim as our own is our sin.

"To this one I will look, to him who is humble and contrite of spirit, and who trembles at my Word."
Isaiah 66.2

Joy in Jesus

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Free Stuff

Check it out, here!

PRIDE

from: Valley of Vision

O THOU TERRIBLE MEEK,

Let not pride swell my heart.
My nature is the mire beneath my feet, the dust to which I shall return.
In body I surpass not the meanest reptile;
Whatever difference of form and intellect is mine is a free grant of they goodness;
Every faculty of mind and body is thy undeserved gift.
Low as I am a creature, I am lower as a sinner;
I have trampled they law times without number;
Sin's deformity is stamped upon me, darkens my brow, touches me with corruption:
How can I flaunt myself proudly?
Lowest abasement is my due place, for I am less than nothing before thee.
Help me to see myself in thy sight, then pride must wither, decay, die, perish.
Humble my heart before thee, and replenish it with thy choicest gifts.
As water rests not on barren hill summits, but flows down to fertilize lowest vales,
So make me the lowest of the lowly, that my spiritual riches may exceedingly abound.
When I leave duties undone, may condemning thought strip me of my pride, deepen in me devotion to thy service, and quicken me to more watchful care.
When I am tempted to think highly of myself, grant me to see the wily power of my spiritual enemy;
Help me to stand with wary eye on the watch-tower of faith, and to cling with determined grasp to my humble Lord;
If I fall let me hide myself in my Redeemer's righteousness, and when I escape, may I ascribe all the deliverance to they grace.
Kee me humble, meek, lowly.

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

my treasure chest

By faith Moses, when he had grown up, refused to be called the son of Pharaoh's daughter, choosing rather to endure ill-treatment with the people of God than to enjoy the passing pleasures of sin, considering the reproach of Christ greater riches than the treasures of Egypt; for he was looking to the reward.
Hebrews 11.24-26


But whatever things were gain to me, those things I have counted as loss for the sake of Christ.

More than that, I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them but rubbish so that I may gain Christ, and may be found in Him, not having a righteousness of my own derived from the Law, but that which is through faith in Christ, the righteousness which comes from God on the basis of faith, that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death; in order that I may attain to the resurrection from the dead. Not that I have already obtained it or have already become perfect, but I press on so that I may lay hold of that for which also I was laid hold of by Christ Jesus. Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.
Phil 3.7-14

The kingdom of heaven is like a treasure hidden in the field, which a man found and hid again; and from joy over it he goes and sells all that he has and buys that field.
Matthew 13.44

Monday, March 05, 2007

some more on pride

So, I've been reading this book, "Humility, the Forgotten Virtue" by Wayne Mack. I've learned a lot, and since I've only finished 3 chapter there's still tons to learn. But a couple things have really stuck out.

View each day as an opportunity to forget yourself and serve others. The act of service is innately humbling.

A person who complains about his circumstances does so because he thinks he deserves better.

Pride is a thing which should be unnatural to us, for we have nothing to be proud of.
Spurgeon

Monday, February 26, 2007

I never thought of it that way

Yesterday in church we were learning about prayer. Specifically focused on Philippians 1:9-11. Good stuff.

He talked about how God is love and that if God is love and God has always been love, who did He love in the beginning. HE LOVED HIMSELF! So now, the Holy Spirit is in us loving Himself. It was kinda cool to think about it that way.

To go further with that, he talked about how from the OT we were told that His house should be a house of prayer to all nations. And now, we are His house, His temple. We are a house of prayer to all nations now. So stinkin' cool. I love it.

If you're interested in hearing more, check it out here.

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Just something I've noticed

And I've realized this before, but I heard a conversation tonight that was a reminder.

Usually if I'm defensive about something that could be a sin in my life, It probably is. And all my efforts to justify it are useless. It's sin!

In my own life I'm being reminded about the importance of humility. So often I don't get my way, or don't get recognized the way I think I should and I lash out. I think the Bible says something about pride coming before a fall. . .

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Sometimes we need reminding

So, this past Sunday, our pastor reminded us that the best way to learn is to teach what you are learning.

I've been reading some James tonight. In reading some backgound info, I was reminded that he didn't actually believe in his brother as the Messiah until after the resurrection. Can you imagine being Jesus and not having your own brother believe you are who you say you are? Anyways, reading through a book I've read time and time again, but this time something different stuck out. So, since the best way to learn is to teach:

Therefore, ridding yourselves of all moral filth and evil excess, humbly receive the implanted word, which is able to save you.
James 1.21

Saturday, January 20, 2007

Unexpected WalMart

So, as always, WalMart was totally crowded on my Saturday afternoon. So, I had to park a long way away. Which was totally fun. Burned a few calories. But as I was walking in and passing by all the cars, I noticed one with a bumper sticker that said this:

So many Christians
So few lions

Yeah, so that's probably enough said. Needless to say it brought a few tears to my eyes.

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Roadtrip to Hotlanta

The first weekend of the New Year all of DAXKO headed off for our annual retreat. We actually had no idea where we were going till we got on the bus and headed out of town. It was a total surprise. We spent half the day Friday and most of the day Saturday hanging out, meeting as teams, hearing from our CEO, and team building. There were lots of laughs.


with Austin and Saranda, lunch on Friday

Friday night we had an AutoBond race. We had to build a car with PVC pipe and duct tape and then race it around the room. My team won!


my team and our winning car-it didn't look like much, but it was fast!


with Logan and Tony after our big win


with Amy and Chris before dinner

Saturday night we went to Andretti's in Atlanta. Again we competed, but this time in real race cars, well the go cart kind. My team didn't win this team. But we had a blast anyways.


Team DAXKO before the big race


Team DAXKO after the race-the official team photo